Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Pure Morning

It is 5:52 a.m. It is Ramadan.
It is my little son's birthday, and he is 5 years old today, mashaAllah walhamdulileh.
There is a thunderstorm outside (those that know me, know this is my favorite). Thunder cracking across the sky, sounds just overhead. Lightning flashing through the blackness, in instants flickering through the drawn blinds of my room.
This is beautiful.

I can't believe my son is 5 today. He seems so grown up, so changed from last year. I can't believe the leaps and bounds in maturity, sensitivity and knowledge he has gained, mashaAllah.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Preparation...

InshaAllah, our official homeschooling journey begins September 8th.

I want to supplement the curriculum with Islamic Studies on our own. I have several books - some owned, some library. No plan, though - no systematic order of progression - and that's what bothers me.

I just realized I have about 2 weeks until the official start date. That SHOULD be enough time for me to get organized if I can buckle down.

MashaAllah, we have a school room. Our toddler has been moved into my son's room, so her room will be our school room inshaAllah.

I have almost all our supplies from the online school - books, materials, loaner computer. I have a couple empty plastic drawers, filing crates & hanging folders. My son's tall bookshelf (filled with random stuff that could be organized elsewhere) I'm thinking about moving into the school room. I haven't decided yet how I'm going to organize all this stuff. I still need to receive the scanner from the online school, and we still don't have a printer. Our budget is pushed to the edge, so my husband said he's going to "do some research" about finding a printer. I know he's not looking forward to having to buy the expensive ink cartridges. We've done without a printer now for about 2 years - maybe 2 1/2. But now that we're starting school at home, I think we're really going to need it.

Especially because I want to supplement with a free Islamic curriculum, if I can find one. And it will probably require lots of printing. I know there's tons and tons of resources out there for Islamic lessons and teachings for your children - but what I'm really looking for, in order to be organized, start simply, and not be overwhelmed, is ONE curriculum. Complete with daily lesson plans and a big picture curriculum goal with directions exactly on how to get there. :)

I know Kinza Academy has an Islamic homeschool curriculum - for purchase. My son does attend a weekend Islamic school. He has some simple books from there, so inshaAllah until I can find the solid curriculum plan I'm looking for I can use those.

I'm being called away now, for a bike ride....

Ramadan Kareem!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Change

Today there's a chill in the air...it makes me sad because I have to face that summer is almost over. Words cannot describe how much I love summer. I love Fall too, but for its bittersweet, gothic melancholy that pensively twists your heartstrings... Summer I love with its shiny, lush, luxuriant engorgement and peace.

Friday, July 31, 2009


Filled with love

of our world and the people in it -

our constant fragile balance

of beauty and tragedy,

happiness and sadness,

frenetic passion

and silent, somnolent calm.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Butterflies

Lately
I have
butterflies in my stomach
a knot in my throat
walking on eggshells
with a twist in my heart

Fear of the unknown

Remembering that Allah will protect me no matter what

Quiets, for a while,

The shaking of electric veins

beneath my skin.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Beta Waves

I love the time laying still before you sleep - how the mind flashes with pictures of memories and moments throughout your life. It's like being able to live through a lifetime again, in a few seconds. And still, those same feelings are there. It's really there, your experience, nestled inside your brain. I love how crystal clear these snapshots are. These precious seconds. Alhamdulileh, mashaAllah.


I really should write these stories. *sigh* One day, inshaAllah. I really would love to write them. But I need enough time and space to concentrate. I get so lost, so completely carried away by writing. And I need to be here. I am needed. Walhamdulileh.


Thursday, April 9, 2009

Speak the Truth, Even When it Hurts

Salaamu alaikum.

I removed my previous post stirring up so much dispute.

Upon further consideration, I agreed with one commenter that it would be more honest & useful (my words) to say the things I wanted to say directly to a particular person.

I have done that. May Allah forgive me if I was wrong to not address it to whom I should have in the first place. May Allah guide me & fellow muslims always to the correct adab. May fellow muslims forgive me if I have injured them. May Allah reward the sister who reminded me. Ameen.

There are a few points I wish to keep, which are my notes to all muslims:

1. We must be humble enough to always pursue truth, even when it hurts.

2. The point of this life is not to achieve happiness. The point of our creation is to worship Allah.
This life is a test. Happiness is nice to have, but it comes and goes, regardless of your status or
circumstances. When the going gets rough, people like to jump ship, or try to find a
different, "progressive" way to shore. What SHOULD happen - and of course we ALL need
practice at this - when Allah gives us tests, we turn EVEN MORE STRONGLY AND
FAITHFULLY TO ALLAH, saying, O Allah! HELP ME get through this! There is no helper but
you!

3. Don't stop seeking help from Allah because you are not getting the results you wanted. One
has to be patient, and persistant - maybe 'till the end of one's life. That's true patience. And
waiting with a truly open, thankful, rembering, faithful heart - not a suspicious heart, or one
that thinks, maybe semi-consciously, well, I'm only going to do X if you give me Y.

4. Count your blessings.

5. Weigh the consequences.

6. Allah LOVES those who ask for His Mercy! He LOVES those who rely solely on Him!Prophet
Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) taught us that NO ONE will get into Jannah by
his or her deeds alone. Not even himself. We will get into Jannah ONLY by Allah's Mercy. None
of us is anything near imaginably perfect, and it is His Mercy alone that is so Great and
Beneficient that he CAN forgive and show mercy. But we must want it and seek it.

7. What we should be seeking is happiness in the eternal world. Everything else is
GUARANTEED to be fleeting. It means nothing, because this life is just a short little test. All
muslims, all who know of the afterlife, the believers - their utmost heart's desire is Jannat
Firdaus. That is what we are striving for.

8. It is our job to speak about what is right. All imams remind us - again, again, and again. The
Qur'an reminds us - again, again, and again. We know what is right but we need to be uplifted,
inspired to receive it and have it hit home, maybe not today, but maybe next week. Don't have
the light drowned out or silenced because no one feels like seeing it.

9. It is the job of true friends, true brothers & sisters, to help guide us to that place of peace &
safety, the fold of Islam.

10. Those that state their religious opinions about what is true should bring proof.

11. We cannot solve or judge a dispute between two people when we have only heard one side of
the story. Note the story of Prophet David judging the dispute between two shepards.
http://www.angelfire.com/on/ummiby1/dawud.html

12. It is wrong to say with any certainty that a person "is going to hell."

13. In my opinion, it is useful to represent yourself online, seeing as hiding is something people
GREATLY try to do on the web, which hinders understanding, communication and empathy.

14. Check your arguements to make sure they make sense before you argue them.

15. Turning away from Islam is ultimately the responsibility of the sinner. Do not blame others.

16. It's not "okay to sin." (seems obvious, but.....) Just because we are human and we all sin does not mean that we should accept, welcome, love, or encourage sin. It is always a burden on the shoulders of the sinner; it is always something to seek Forgiveness for; it is always something to repent from. Oh, it's also not okay to start spreading the word that certain sins are not sins, just because you don't feel like they are anymore.

17. Do not state that if other muslims annoy you too much, you want no part of Islam either,
authu bileh.

18. It is appropriate to warn, in general, against behaviors that have been known to lead one
astray. Not to point fingers - but to speak directly to someone you have wish to communicate
with.

19. An illogical, inappropriate arguement is, "who are YOU to point fingers?" The whole "he who
has not sinned may cast the first stone" is a Christian ideology. You don't have to wait until
you are perfect, or superiorly pious (although one might be, inshaAllah, in order to be moved
by wayward behaviour) in order to address someone about what they should not be doing.
Those who say nothing may simply not care. Or, they might not be thinking deeply about the
larger repercussions of saying nothing.

20. In my opinion, it's a bunch p.c. bologna to say, "Let's not pass judgement!" about someone who's doing something wrong. Here's the deal: we're judging the sin. When we speak out against a sin, we're not saying one who sins "is a bad person." We care about the sinner. All souls, all people, are worth weight and worth guiding. (The whole "love the sinner, not the sin" is an acceptable concept as long as the sinner is in the fold of Islam.) So don't you worry - we're not casting anyone out, we're not castrating anyone from society - but we are judging behaviour. This is important. Judging between right and wrong is crucial. It does not mean we do not sympathize with the sinner. It simply means we must make clear which behaviors are wrong. We still love our friends, our loved ones - but we have criteria (religion) to judge their actions in this life, and to remind them about what is right and wrong.

The reason: to practice submission to the One God on the path of light that He has shown us: Islam.

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