Just a nice warm fuzzy, here.
I've been reading my latest National Geographic issue (I love that magazine) cover to cover - it's an entire issue on China - a fascinating place. This morning as I read, sipping my coffee, my daughter, a 1-year-old baby, mashaAllah, squatted next to me for 15 minutes, "cleaning" her mini-highchair (I call it her baby-seat...it's what we use for her to eat in...a travel-size highchair) with a wad of toilet paper. The toilet paper slowly disintegrated into a few fuzzy puffs as it scrubbed and scrubbed, being ripped and shredded by these furiously working little fists. She worked energetically, complete with her tongue between her teeth, sticking out from the corner of her mouth (for added concentration). Every once in awhile, she would look up at me with sparkly, wide eyes, searching for approval. I would squeal, "Good job!!!" and she went happily back to work.
When she was finally satisfied with her efforts, she put up her arms for me to carry her. As we were exiting the kitchen, I found a raisin on the floor, left-over from her 15-20 minute feast prior, when she was curiously pinching each little raisin clump between tiny forefinger and thumb.
"Here," I said, picking it up. "Have a raisin." (I'm not one to shy away from raisins on the kitchen floor.) She opened her mouth like a baby bird, and I plopped it in, her big cheeks bulging from the sides as she began to chew.
It was a job well done.
MashaAllah. Babies are hilarious. SubhanAllah. :)
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Saturday, April 19, 2008
About Me
Mumina's post got me inspired to do a mini-bio, too. Who, after all, doesn't like writing about herself? ;) So it's the jolt that I needed.
*hang on, Mumina - I have to go pick up my kids I'll finish this post later inshaAllah ;) *
**Okay, I'm back. Yeah, like a week later. :) Such is me. Which is what this post is all about, right? Ahhhhh.
Well, I forget what I was going to write about in the first place. So let's just take it from here, with baby in my lap and everything.
Maybe I could write a list type of thing. My cousin did some kind of "100 facts about me" type of thing awhile back on her page....that might make it easier. And then I know I'll just go off and off into paragraphs and paragraphs of tangents. But oh well. Tangents are what I do best.
1. I feel what I imagine is semi-drained of life each morning until I have my coffee. It's a bit freakish, and scares me, but at this point I think there's nothing I can do about it. If coffee doesn't happen until noon, then I feel semi-drained of life until noon. And so on.
Maybe it's the consequence of my college years, when I didn't have a clue what "health" is, and how to maintain and respect it, and so had limitlessness for almost everything. ALMOST - alhamdulileh!!!!!
2. I am 30 years old. sheesh! Walhamdulileh. I just turned 30 last march. March 2, which is a cute looking little date that I like, alhamdulileh. What is she talking about, you might wonder? Yes, I am talking about how I like the date of my birth. It is aesthetically pleasing. And I am majorly concerned with aesthetics. Many years, there is a blizzard or other type of storm on my birthday, which I love. It seems wild and romantic. Except for that year I turned 10 years old, and had tickets to The Children's Theatre on my birthday, to see a play about my favorite story of all time, Alice in Wonderland, with my mother and my best friend from next door, and we couldn't go because of a major blizzard (we don't even get truly major blizzards here in Minnesota anymore...freakish global warming!). I remember crying....my mom must have felt so bad. ;)
3. I get headaches easily, and they are very bad and less often can turn into migraines. I have to be careful about this, which includes drinking lots of water. I've discovered that if I do not drink lots of water for 2 or so days in a row, I am guaranteed a headache. These usually last an entire day. And then I cannot think. Walhamdulileh. :) Yes, I am truly grateful for any trial I am given because I need it, it is good for me for so many reasons, and always, always it it nothing in comparison. As in all things, there is always somebody who's got it worse than you - and I am applying this to the whole picture of being alive - not just headaches.
Afterthought: you might be thinking, how does she manage Ramadan? Alhamdulileh, mashaAllah, Allah is Merciful - I have a trivial amount of headache during that month. I manage by drinking 1-2 litres of water at sukhoor and 2 litres of water from maghrib onwards.
4. So far this list is so random that I am getting wary of it. Well, on, on! I'm telling myself. Try to keep it together, man!
5. I pictured the above last sentence being uttered by Rex Harrison. Hilarious man. The other night, I watched about 1/2 an hour of the old movie "Cleopatra" starring Rex Harrison, some other guy, and Elizabeth Taylor. Rex Harrison as Caesar is ridiculously amusing! But the movie was terrible, so I quit watching.
6. I come from an eccentric family. Or at least, my father is, and siblings, as a result of being genetically tied, and then my mother, but only by proximation, and because she loves us.
MashaAllah, I am at this moment marvelling at my husband's patience and acceptance of remaining married to someone who, from his point of view, is such a goofball.
My husband is utterly logical, determinedly balanced. He keeps me in order. It's all Qadr Allah. I feel he is good for me, mashaAllah. I hope I am beneficial for him, too.
7. I love simplicity, and nature. I love simple foods, simple meals. The thought makes me tingle. I just gave my son strawberries and cheese to eat. Things like that. I find myself writing a lot about nature, weather, light, or darkness. It effects me so much. Years ago now, I considered myself a poet. I can't be, anymore, since I don't do it, anymore. But I used to write voluminously.
That was before I was married. Being married changed me, changed how I spend my time in the world, physically and mentally. And it had to, since for years I was completely enveloped in the vortex of my own mental world. I loved it, but change is inevitable, good, progression, a part of life, and a challenge to rise to. I have always loved words, language, writing. But also, since I became muslim almost 5 years ago, alhamdulileh, mashaAllah, my writing quieted for many, many reasons. One is that I felt the weight of RESPONSIBILITY for what I write. Words can clearly get you into trouble, especially too many words - for us humans, they can run away from us, out of our control. We get heady with them, and can lose our way. We can become too much engulfed in the indulgence of Self.
It's why, years ago, before I came to Islam, I was trying to clear out, clean up, after years of being psychologically, imaginatively, emotionally, a chaotic mess. And so I was drawn to Eastern concepts of clarity, silence, purity, simplicity, reticence. As a muslim, I still respect those values and find it halal and beneficial to do so from an Islamic standpoint.
8. I am not a very social person. For years and years, I was extremely shy. However, especially in this last year - perhaps it is the benefit of aging, maturity - I find I am gaining more confidence that allows me to relax and be myself and reach out to other people, and that it's not such a scary thing or such a huge task - in fact I find relief in it. I feel very grateful to know so many beautiful muslim souls. My dad respects Islam and muslims a lot. He asked me recently, "It seems like....is it a muslim quality to have such a pure heart?" and all I could say was, "I think so."
9. I am a very flexible person. I am often (can't say always) open to hearing another point of view and considering it. We talked about this in my son's once-a-week preschool (it's a 2 hr. thing, called Early Childhood Family Education, and I love it) during mom-time, in the mom-room, where all the moms go to discuss mom-stuff while the kids stay in their classroom, doing kid-stuff.
The topic was "temperament," which I think greatly interests our "parent educator," and me. One of the 9 characteristics of temperament, so it goes, is "flexibility," and where a person lies on that scale.
We dispersed into small groups and discussed a temperament trait or two. We were to examine the positives and the challenges of these traits. Our group had "flexibility." The group agreed with me, that we couldn't think of anything negative about being flexible. Let's say the parents are extremely routine-oriented people, and the child naturally isn't. No matter; the child is flexible and so adapts to the parents' way.
When we presented to the large group, I added, for an amiable example, that I consider myself extremely flexible, and that some might perceive that as being easily walked-over, but that actually that trait has come in quite handy for me in life.
One woman spoke up - a woman I respect. She's soft-spoken, humble, creative, and has an aura of peacefulness about her. To my surprise, she said, "I can think of something negative about being overly flexible...you could lose yourself." All ears perked up and turned towards her. The group facilitator pressed her to explain. "It's just....if you're always willing to change or give up what you want, you can lose that part of yourself."
I thought this was very interesting - and a little bit alarming. Actually, I embarrassed myself, next. As it is also my nature to make sure everyone feels good and included, I immediately said, without thinking twice, "Yes, that's a good point!" ( LOL - thereby demonstrating just how flexible I am! I was embarrassed because I didn't want anyone or myself to think of myself as a lost pushover) I don't know if anyone caught that, on my part. They didn't give any sign.
Oh well. :) It works for me. I do what I have to do to stay aloft in this world, you know?
10. Okay, time to do something else, today. It's been fun, kids.
*hang on, Mumina - I have to go pick up my kids I'll finish this post later inshaAllah ;) *
**Okay, I'm back. Yeah, like a week later. :) Such is me. Which is what this post is all about, right? Ahhhhh.
Well, I forget what I was going to write about in the first place. So let's just take it from here, with baby in my lap and everything.
Maybe I could write a list type of thing. My cousin did some kind of "100 facts about me" type of thing awhile back on her page....that might make it easier. And then I know I'll just go off and off into paragraphs and paragraphs of tangents. But oh well. Tangents are what I do best.
1. I feel what I imagine is semi-drained of life each morning until I have my coffee. It's a bit freakish, and scares me, but at this point I think there's nothing I can do about it. If coffee doesn't happen until noon, then I feel semi-drained of life until noon. And so on.
Maybe it's the consequence of my college years, when I didn't have a clue what "health" is, and how to maintain and respect it, and so had limitlessness for almost everything. ALMOST - alhamdulileh!!!!!
2. I am 30 years old. sheesh! Walhamdulileh. I just turned 30 last march. March 2, which is a cute looking little date that I like, alhamdulileh. What is she talking about, you might wonder? Yes, I am talking about how I like the date of my birth. It is aesthetically pleasing. And I am majorly concerned with aesthetics. Many years, there is a blizzard or other type of storm on my birthday, which I love. It seems wild and romantic. Except for that year I turned 10 years old, and had tickets to The Children's Theatre on my birthday, to see a play about my favorite story of all time, Alice in Wonderland, with my mother and my best friend from next door, and we couldn't go because of a major blizzard (we don't even get truly major blizzards here in Minnesota anymore...freakish global warming!). I remember crying....my mom must have felt so bad. ;)
3. I get headaches easily, and they are very bad and less often can turn into migraines. I have to be careful about this, which includes drinking lots of water. I've discovered that if I do not drink lots of water for 2 or so days in a row, I am guaranteed a headache. These usually last an entire day. And then I cannot think. Walhamdulileh. :) Yes, I am truly grateful for any trial I am given because I need it, it is good for me for so many reasons, and always, always it it nothing in comparison. As in all things, there is always somebody who's got it worse than you - and I am applying this to the whole picture of being alive - not just headaches.
Afterthought: you might be thinking, how does she manage Ramadan? Alhamdulileh, mashaAllah, Allah is Merciful - I have a trivial amount of headache during that month. I manage by drinking 1-2 litres of water at sukhoor and 2 litres of water from maghrib onwards.
4. So far this list is so random that I am getting wary of it. Well, on, on! I'm telling myself. Try to keep it together, man!
5. I pictured the above last sentence being uttered by Rex Harrison. Hilarious man. The other night, I watched about 1/2 an hour of the old movie "Cleopatra" starring Rex Harrison, some other guy, and Elizabeth Taylor. Rex Harrison as Caesar is ridiculously amusing! But the movie was terrible, so I quit watching.
6. I come from an eccentric family. Or at least, my father is, and siblings, as a result of being genetically tied, and then my mother, but only by proximation, and because she loves us.
MashaAllah, I am at this moment marvelling at my husband's patience and acceptance of remaining married to someone who, from his point of view, is such a goofball.
My husband is utterly logical, determinedly balanced. He keeps me in order. It's all Qadr Allah. I feel he is good for me, mashaAllah. I hope I am beneficial for him, too.
7. I love simplicity, and nature. I love simple foods, simple meals. The thought makes me tingle. I just gave my son strawberries and cheese to eat. Things like that. I find myself writing a lot about nature, weather, light, or darkness. It effects me so much. Years ago now, I considered myself a poet. I can't be, anymore, since I don't do it, anymore. But I used to write voluminously.
That was before I was married. Being married changed me, changed how I spend my time in the world, physically and mentally. And it had to, since for years I was completely enveloped in the vortex of my own mental world. I loved it, but change is inevitable, good, progression, a part of life, and a challenge to rise to. I have always loved words, language, writing. But also, since I became muslim almost 5 years ago, alhamdulileh, mashaAllah, my writing quieted for many, many reasons. One is that I felt the weight of RESPONSIBILITY for what I write. Words can clearly get you into trouble, especially too many words - for us humans, they can run away from us, out of our control. We get heady with them, and can lose our way. We can become too much engulfed in the indulgence of Self.
It's why, years ago, before I came to Islam, I was trying to clear out, clean up, after years of being psychologically, imaginatively, emotionally, a chaotic mess. And so I was drawn to Eastern concepts of clarity, silence, purity, simplicity, reticence. As a muslim, I still respect those values and find it halal and beneficial to do so from an Islamic standpoint.
8. I am not a very social person. For years and years, I was extremely shy. However, especially in this last year - perhaps it is the benefit of aging, maturity - I find I am gaining more confidence that allows me to relax and be myself and reach out to other people, and that it's not such a scary thing or such a huge task - in fact I find relief in it. I feel very grateful to know so many beautiful muslim souls. My dad respects Islam and muslims a lot. He asked me recently, "It seems like....is it a muslim quality to have such a pure heart?" and all I could say was, "I think so."
9. I am a very flexible person. I am often (can't say always) open to hearing another point of view and considering it. We talked about this in my son's once-a-week preschool (it's a 2 hr. thing, called Early Childhood Family Education, and I love it) during mom-time, in the mom-room, where all the moms go to discuss mom-stuff while the kids stay in their classroom, doing kid-stuff.
The topic was "temperament," which I think greatly interests our "parent educator," and me. One of the 9 characteristics of temperament, so it goes, is "flexibility," and where a person lies on that scale.
We dispersed into small groups and discussed a temperament trait or two. We were to examine the positives and the challenges of these traits. Our group had "flexibility." The group agreed with me, that we couldn't think of anything negative about being flexible. Let's say the parents are extremely routine-oriented people, and the child naturally isn't. No matter; the child is flexible and so adapts to the parents' way.
When we presented to the large group, I added, for an amiable example, that I consider myself extremely flexible, and that some might perceive that as being easily walked-over, but that actually that trait has come in quite handy for me in life.
One woman spoke up - a woman I respect. She's soft-spoken, humble, creative, and has an aura of peacefulness about her. To my surprise, she said, "I can think of something negative about being overly flexible...you could lose yourself." All ears perked up and turned towards her. The group facilitator pressed her to explain. "It's just....if you're always willing to change or give up what you want, you can lose that part of yourself."
I thought this was very interesting - and a little bit alarming. Actually, I embarrassed myself, next. As it is also my nature to make sure everyone feels good and included, I immediately said, without thinking twice, "Yes, that's a good point!" ( LOL - thereby demonstrating just how flexible I am! I was embarrassed because I didn't want anyone or myself to think of myself as a lost pushover) I don't know if anyone caught that, on my part. They didn't give any sign.
Oh well. :) It works for me. I do what I have to do to stay aloft in this world, you know?
10. Okay, time to do something else, today. It's been fun, kids.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
Six Word Memoir
The Rules
1. Write your own six word memoir
2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like
3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post and to this original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere
4. Tag five more blogs with links
5. And don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!
My Memoir:
Dark Into Light
Heartful Love's Sight
Umm AbdurRahman tagged me.
I tag:
Mumina
The Egyptian's Wife
TruWoman
Organic Muslimah
and uh, uh....hmmm I know 3 out of 4 of the above were already tagged, but...oh well.
1. Write your own six word memoir
2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like
3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post and to this original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere
4. Tag five more blogs with links
5. And don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!
My Memoir:
Dark Into Light
Heartful Love's Sight
Umm AbdurRahman tagged me.
I tag:
Mumina
The Egyptian's Wife
TruWoman
Organic Muslimah
and uh, uh....hmmm I know 3 out of 4 of the above were already tagged, but...oh well.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Camera Obscura
words slither
cautious
careful
ivory
possibly echos
may disappear
and everything
beautiful
again.
Waiting, pixelated
cringing worn-teeth wounds
shiver on shell
blasted away
rug pulled out
from under feet
measureless and therefore,
lost
cautious
careful
ivory
possibly echos
may disappear
and everything
beautiful
again.
Waiting, pixelated
cringing worn-teeth wounds
shiver on shell
blasted away
rug pulled out
from under feet
measureless and therefore,
lost
Sunday, March 2, 2008
My Birthday
Today I am 30 years old.
I can't believe it. This is surreal.
I've never cared about age before; in fact, enjoyed a bit growing older, packing all those experiences under my belt.
This is a little bit...sad? It's like the end of an era. The "kid" era...even though I feel like I'm very similar to the same person I've always been....a very child-like person, if I do say so, myself. It sounds bad, but I rather enjoy being me, alhamdulileh.
So from now on, I won't be saying I'm "20-______" anymore. Which is what I've been saying for the past 10 years.
So. Weird.
It was a beautiful day though; gray, rainy, long, slow - my kind of day. :)
I can't believe it. This is surreal.
I've never cared about age before; in fact, enjoyed a bit growing older, packing all those experiences under my belt.
This is a little bit...sad? It's like the end of an era. The "kid" era...even though I feel like I'm very similar to the same person I've always been....a very child-like person, if I do say so, myself. It sounds bad, but I rather enjoy being me, alhamdulileh.
So from now on, I won't be saying I'm "20-______" anymore. Which is what I've been saying for the past 10 years.
So. Weird.
It was a beautiful day though; gray, rainy, long, slow - my kind of day. :)
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Questions
A friend forwarded me these questions. I enjoyed answering them.
MEME QUESTIONS
1. What is the first movie you saw and where did you see it?
The very first movie? I can't remember - but I think the very earliest one I can remember stands out because it was the worst and I hated it: Tron. I was 5 years old, and my parents were watching it in our hotel room while we were on vacation in Sanibel Island, Florida. I remember being soooooo bored. Other than that, early, early movies that stand out are The Muppet Movie, and The Last Unicorn - both of which, I loved.
2. What television show(s) did you like in the 70's?
I was born in 1978.
3. What television show(s) did you like in the 80's?
Sesame Street, My Little Pony (this was my favorite), Care Bears, Garfield, Punky Brewster, Silver Spoons, He Man & She Ra, The Muppet Show, Fraggle Rock (other favorite), The Smurfs, The Littles, The Jetsons, Dungeons & Dragons.
4. Name as many childhood Halloween costumes as you remember.
When I was 7, I was a horse (which everyone thought was a cow, which pissed me off, and my brother got to be a "cool" devil, which pissed me off, too). I believe that costume, already a hand-me-down from my cousin Allison, was recycled for me for 2 consecutive years. Brilliant!
My very first costume was an artist, at age 2. I had a little black beret, a paint smock with bowtie, and the paint-thing with all the colors on it, with a hole for your thumb....the thing artists hold while they're painting - and a paintbrush. I was so proud - I wanted to be like my dad.
When I was 5, I was painted as some sort of weird vaudevillian clown face and taken door-to-door by my father. I was so embarrassed, because I thought I looked ugly, so I cried the entire time, and wouldn't look anyone in the eye. I have no idea what my dad thought of my reaction.
At age 6, I was Strawberry Shortcake, and wore the cheap plastic mask with tiny breathe-holes. I rememer wheezing and the whole mask covering my face with condensation, which was an extremely unpleasant sensation, but I was determined to wear it - I loved Strawberry Shortcake, man. The rest of the costume consisted of a plastic tablecloth-like sheet with a hole for my head, draped over my body and screenprinted with a Strawberry Shortcake picture.
At age 9 I was Raggedy Ann, an entire set, lovingly handcrafted - including a red yarn wig, a blue flowered dress with white pinafore (I loved this dress and pinafore - I felt like Alice and Wonderland, which, looking back, would have been a wise choice, since I loved Alice and felt silly wearing this giant red wig) and red-and-white socks. It was borrowed and handed-down from my next-door-neighbor-best-friend. Obviously my parents did not like buying Halloween costumes.
My final year of trick-or-treating was at age 13 or 14 - I knew I was old, but I loved it, and my friend Lisa and I were going to go together. Her brilliant idea was to make our own costumes, and we were each to be "a bag of jelly beans." It took a lot of drawing-board brainstorming to determine how this feat was to be accomplished, let me tell you. We made my costume first, and taped balloons with masking tape to the outside of a black trash bag, reconfigured with holes for arms, and head.
After my costume was complete, we had the stroke of genius to tape the balloons with much-sturdier duct tape. We were giggling as we squished into the back of my parent's station wagon, in order to drive us to "the rich neighborhood," where we would get more & better candy. We barely fit in the car, and my heart would flutter at each popping of a balloon.
My costume, due to its embarrassingly shoddy craftsmanship, cast balloons one bye one, two by two, lost into the dark night after each house we visited and each crispy, sugar-frosted lawn we traversed - until I was just walking around in a black trash bag. Lisa's costume was fully intact, her enviously bright bouquet of colors a beacon of hope in the frigid, obsidian air. I felt the clench of a quiet panic rise in my throat.
At that point, we rang the bell at a large, white house. I believe there were pillars - or it may just be my faulty memory, increasing the stakes in the ominous tragi-comedy that was to ensue. When the woman opened the door, her face turned to a bitter sneer as she looked first at Lisa, bright and bubbly, and then me, in my wrinkled, crinkled, ripped, pathetic, disgusting - trash bag. "YOU COULD TRY HARDER THAN THAT!" she barked, crushing my fragile self-esteem, my confidence, my wishes to be clever, lovely and glittered.
5. What was the first thing you bought with your own money?
I remember being so proud that I had six dollars, for a long time, carefully stowed away in my quilted pink purse. I think I used it to buy candy - but didn't spend it all in one place. I bought M & Ms, my treasure, and would eat just a few at a time, and would delicately roll up the little papery bag and tuck it away in my cupboard in my room in order to savor them as long as I could.
6. What was your allowance at age 10?
I never had an allowance.
7. Was/were there a(n) political event(s) you remember from the 70s and 80's?
I don't remember anything. Except in 3rd grade, our teacher asked us who we thought would be voted for governor and wrote down two names on the blackboard. We voted. I was so proud a few days later when my guess was correct. I had chosen the name because I liked it - and truly had an instinct about him. ;)
8. What religion were you raised in?
A bit Christian, but we never attended church. I remember my dad taking me to the Nature Center, walking around looking at the trees, and my dad called it, "My Church." He'd always ask us if we wanted to go to his church.
9. Are you still in that religion?
No.
10. What rules did your parents have that you hated?
I don't remember any rules. Except I hated doing homework - especially math homework. I would cry with frustration. We also had to always practice the piano - which we all procrastinated about doing - even though I liked it.
11. What's the first song you made out to?
There was no music.
12. Who was your first kiss?
Not telling. But I was 18 years old.
13. How many schools did you go to as a kid?
4 - one elementary school, one middle school, 2 highschools
14. Which place(s) did you live growing up?
North Saint Paul, Minnesota
15. What color(s) was/were your room growing up?
White stucco, with dark wood trim in weird V shapes. My dad said he wanted it to look like a tudor-style house (on the inside of my room). Until I was in highschool, it also had blue persian-esque tiles on the floor, which were cool - but it made the floor hard and cold. It was a weird room. No wonder I chose to sleep in my brother's room until I was 7. (It was also because I was afraid of all the dolls in my room. I thought they were staring at me at night, in the dark, as I tried to sleep. Gave me chills.)
16. What was your favorite book in the 70's/80's/90's?
From the start, I loved to read and be read to. Books were my entire world. As a young kid, among all the picture books, the famous kid authors, I loved all the 1950s Little Lulu comics that my dad read to us from his collection.
As I grew, I loved all the Oz books & Alice in Wonderland (my favorites), Dr. Seuss, all old fairytales, everything by Zilpha Keatley Snyder, Anne of Green Gables books, Madeleine L'Engle, Cynthia Voight books, Chronicles of Narnia...............
17. What was your favorite movie(s) in the 70's/80's/90's?
I love movies and always have. If I had to pick one though that stands out most from childhood, I'd say Labyrinth.
18. Who was your first "best friend"?
Kristen, next-door.
19. Do you still know him/her?
Yes! Although she moved away, we re-discovered each other later in life. :)
20. What was the farthest you rode a bike as a child?
I think to the 7/11. It was "up the hill," which I thought was a marvelous, long journey. Now, I know - t's not. LOL
21. Were your parents strict?
Not by a long shot.
22. When were you allowed to date?
Never was an issue because I was extremely shy. It never came up.
23. What pet(s) did you have before you were 18?
Poppy & Moose - 2 cocker spaniels
Goldie & Blackie - goldfish
Tosca - cat
Hamsters (my sister's - yech)
Nibbles - guinea pig (my sister's - again, yech)
Zip & Cupid - cockatiels
BearPaw - mutt dog
Zeke, Cecily, Zolly - 3 lovey cats
24. Did you get good grades in school?
Yes
25. What hobbies did you have as a child?
I loved to read and write....I also played the piano, tennis, and skiing. And until I was about 9 or 10, I loved dolls and always played with dolls.
26. Did you play sports?
ONLY tennis & skiing. Outside of school. They were the only things I liked, and I was terrible at everything else. I HATED school-related sports/gym class. Such pressure! Such tension!
27. What was your favorite food as a child?
Rice. When I was 10 and my parents asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I only half-jokingly asked for "a barrel of rice."
Also, artichokes and brussels sprouts. I loved eating steamed artichokes as a family, because it took a long time to make them and eat them, one leaf at a time, dipped in mayonnaise (yum!). This delectable vegetable was particularly conducive to having quality family time - eating, talking.
28. What food did you hate as a child?
I never liked meat very much. And until I was a bit older and grew to LOVE spaghetti, when I was very young, it was scary to eat because I continually choked as I was eating it.
29. Are your parents still married? If so, how long?
34 years this fall, inshaAllah, mashaAllah.
30. Who was your favorite teacher in K-8?
Definitely Mr. Fredlund, my 5th grade teacher. He was my beloved, staunch supporter. Believed in me, loved me in a grandfatherly way. Now that my mom's a schoolboard person and always involved in education and the community, she sees him from time to time at different functions. He always asks about me. :)
21. Who was your favorite teacher in High School?
I loved Mrs. Lamb, my 7th grade English teacher, and Mr. Brick, my 11th and 12th grade English teacher, even though EVERYONE I knew made fun of him - he was quite odd. I liked him very much - he was a huge fan of Asian poetry, and I will never forget his moving, inspiring lectures about Lao Tsu and Li Po, which revved up quite a bit of enthusiasm for these writers on my own part. I will never forget how, through these and other writers, he taught me the word "reticence," and the whole concept behind it in Asian poetry. It followed me for the rest of my days, trying to capture that essence and practice. Mr. Brick was so supportive of me. He was so respectful and 1000% encouraging of me and my writing. It was exactly what I needed - saturated praise - in order to draw me out, to blossom and be brave and expressive in my writing.
It's funny, but I remember little else from my scholastic highschool days, but these afternoons of reading poetry and world literature stayed with me. Just the other morning - a cold, bright winter morning, I read a beautiful article in National Geographic about the 17th century Japanese poet, Basho. It took me back inside a reverie.
22. Did you ever steal anything as a kid?
We had these neighbors that we (my parents, and therefore, us kids) hated, until they moved away when I entered middle school, or maybe a little earlier. They were dumb as rocks, and loud, and mean. They used to have this plastic crate of rocks - just rocks - sitting next to their garage.
I don't know why, but I feverishly decided I just HAD to take one of those rocks. Maybe it was vengeance for their son being mean to me? My heart was pounding, pounding, as I cased the situation, crept up, and snatched a big rock from the crate. Just as I did so, they drove up in their van, onto their driveway. I ran, and hid in the bushes. Someone jumped out of the van and chased after me - was it their daughter? - and caught me in the bushes, and started screaming in my face, "WHAT WERE YOU DOING?! WHAT WERE YOU DOING?!!" I couldn't answer, couldn't speak, could only shake in my cold sweat.
I still had the rock when she walked away. I remember laying in bed that night, unable to sleep, my stomach in a twist, nauseous, paralyzed with fear, begging - someone, something, instinctually? - for forgiveness. Vowing never to do that again. The next day, I crept back, and put the rock back in the crate, praying they would never notice.
23. Did you ever cheat on a test?
No
24. Where would we find you on your elementary school playground?
Hoping recess would end as quickly as possible (I didn't like any forced socialization), or, on a more peaceful Spring day, playing 4-square, if there were any taking it up.
25. Did you have a job before you were 18?
At 15, I worked at Dege Garden Center. I was a cashier, but also did other odd jobs. It was the weirdest place to work - the employees were bizarre, are-you-a-convict? types - but they were very funny, and I enjoyed working there. I thought they were SO OLD, so haggard, so experienced - but looking back, they were about 25-30 yrs. old. We would take turns taking naps in the back, on top of bags of fertilizer. We'd jump up and start sweeping if the owner, George, came in the store. I loved watering the flowers with the spray hose in the hot, misty greenhouse.
I also worked at Bruegger's Bagels, which I didn't like much - but I stuck to it.
26. Excluding family, who have you known the longest that you still have contact with now?
Kristen, from next-door
27. Did you go to any concerts when you were a child? If yes, which ones?
Classical ones.
28. What fad(s) did you just have to have?
Friendship bracelets, Cabbage Patch dolls, moccasins, hairsprayed bangs, jelly shoes, tight-ankled jeans held together with safety pins
29. What fad(s) did you hate?
Hairsprayed bangs and tight-ankled jeans held together with safety pins
30. It's Friday night in high school: Where are you?
Sometimes home, watching a movie, sometimes out with friends - movie, restaurant, coffee shop or their house.
31. Did you ever copy a celebrity for your hair style?
Wanted to, but don't think I did or was able to.
32. What song was played at your high school graduation?
I can't remember.
33. What was the dumbest thing you did as a child?
Perhaps when I tried, in secret, to copy my dad by putting M & Ms in my nose. I was in the bathroom, sitting on the counter, looking in the mirror, to see how it looked to have orange and green nostrils, like him. The trouble came when the M & Ms wouldn't come out again. They were stuck. I panicked. They melted. I started blowing my nose, blowing my nose, for what I've always remembered was "half an hour," blowing chocolate out - and then blood. Decided never to do that again, either.
My friend Kristen answered these questions too, and for this one, I just have to post her answer as well, since it is about her and me:
"One would have to be when my best friend and I made wishes, blowing on dandelions, that we would become centaurs. And we were absolutely, whole-heartedly convinced that our wish had come true, and oh, were we delighted. ("I can see the outline of my back legs!" "I can jump higher than I could before! Look!") Until, classically, the doubts started to creep in: what had we done? How would we live our lives this way? How would we ever return to normal?? I went inside to my mother, in tears, wailing about dandelions and wishes and back legs and despair. My mother's response:
'Why don't you just wish on another dandelion?' "
34. How late were you allowed to stay out?
I didn't really have a curfew
35. What was your first car?
The red Ford Taurus station wagon was passed on to me. I thought it was a huge embarrassment, but my friends in highschool liked it, which made me happy. It always smelled like grass, from having huge black lawn bags filled with freshly mown grass in the summer that my mother then drove to "the dump." The smell remained.
36. Is your life what you thought it would be?
I hadn't known what to expect, but I certainly hadn't seen this coming.
MEME QUESTIONS
1. What is the first movie you saw and where did you see it?
The very first movie? I can't remember - but I think the very earliest one I can remember stands out because it was the worst and I hated it: Tron. I was 5 years old, and my parents were watching it in our hotel room while we were on vacation in Sanibel Island, Florida. I remember being soooooo bored. Other than that, early, early movies that stand out are The Muppet Movie, and The Last Unicorn - both of which, I loved.
2. What television show(s) did you like in the 70's?
I was born in 1978.
3. What television show(s) did you like in the 80's?
Sesame Street, My Little Pony (this was my favorite), Care Bears, Garfield, Punky Brewster, Silver Spoons, He Man & She Ra, The Muppet Show, Fraggle Rock (other favorite), The Smurfs, The Littles, The Jetsons, Dungeons & Dragons.
4. Name as many childhood Halloween costumes as you remember.
When I was 7, I was a horse (which everyone thought was a cow, which pissed me off, and my brother got to be a "cool" devil, which pissed me off, too). I believe that costume, already a hand-me-down from my cousin Allison, was recycled for me for 2 consecutive years. Brilliant!
My very first costume was an artist, at age 2. I had a little black beret, a paint smock with bowtie, and the paint-thing with all the colors on it, with a hole for your thumb....the thing artists hold while they're painting - and a paintbrush. I was so proud - I wanted to be like my dad.
When I was 5, I was painted as some sort of weird vaudevillian clown face and taken door-to-door by my father. I was so embarrassed, because I thought I looked ugly, so I cried the entire time, and wouldn't look anyone in the eye. I have no idea what my dad thought of my reaction.
At age 6, I was Strawberry Shortcake, and wore the cheap plastic mask with tiny breathe-holes. I rememer wheezing and the whole mask covering my face with condensation, which was an extremely unpleasant sensation, but I was determined to wear it - I loved Strawberry Shortcake, man. The rest of the costume consisted of a plastic tablecloth-like sheet with a hole for my head, draped over my body and screenprinted with a Strawberry Shortcake picture.
At age 9 I was Raggedy Ann, an entire set, lovingly handcrafted - including a red yarn wig, a blue flowered dress with white pinafore (I loved this dress and pinafore - I felt like Alice and Wonderland, which, looking back, would have been a wise choice, since I loved Alice and felt silly wearing this giant red wig) and red-and-white socks. It was borrowed and handed-down from my next-door-neighbor-best-friend. Obviously my parents did not like buying Halloween costumes.
My final year of trick-or-treating was at age 13 or 14 - I knew I was old, but I loved it, and my friend Lisa and I were going to go together. Her brilliant idea was to make our own costumes, and we were each to be "a bag of jelly beans." It took a lot of drawing-board brainstorming to determine how this feat was to be accomplished, let me tell you. We made my costume first, and taped balloons with masking tape to the outside of a black trash bag, reconfigured with holes for arms, and head.
After my costume was complete, we had the stroke of genius to tape the balloons with much-sturdier duct tape. We were giggling as we squished into the back of my parent's station wagon, in order to drive us to "the rich neighborhood," where we would get more & better candy. We barely fit in the car, and my heart would flutter at each popping of a balloon.
My costume, due to its embarrassingly shoddy craftsmanship, cast balloons one bye one, two by two, lost into the dark night after each house we visited and each crispy, sugar-frosted lawn we traversed - until I was just walking around in a black trash bag. Lisa's costume was fully intact, her enviously bright bouquet of colors a beacon of hope in the frigid, obsidian air. I felt the clench of a quiet panic rise in my throat.
At that point, we rang the bell at a large, white house. I believe there were pillars - or it may just be my faulty memory, increasing the stakes in the ominous tragi-comedy that was to ensue. When the woman opened the door, her face turned to a bitter sneer as she looked first at Lisa, bright and bubbly, and then me, in my wrinkled, crinkled, ripped, pathetic, disgusting - trash bag. "YOU COULD TRY HARDER THAN THAT!" she barked, crushing my fragile self-esteem, my confidence, my wishes to be clever, lovely and glittered.
5. What was the first thing you bought with your own money?
I remember being so proud that I had six dollars, for a long time, carefully stowed away in my quilted pink purse. I think I used it to buy candy - but didn't spend it all in one place. I bought M & Ms, my treasure, and would eat just a few at a time, and would delicately roll up the little papery bag and tuck it away in my cupboard in my room in order to savor them as long as I could.
6. What was your allowance at age 10?
I never had an allowance.
7. Was/were there a(n) political event(s) you remember from the 70s and 80's?
I don't remember anything. Except in 3rd grade, our teacher asked us who we thought would be voted for governor and wrote down two names on the blackboard. We voted. I was so proud a few days later when my guess was correct. I had chosen the name because I liked it - and truly had an instinct about him. ;)
8. What religion were you raised in?
A bit Christian, but we never attended church. I remember my dad taking me to the Nature Center, walking around looking at the trees, and my dad called it, "My Church." He'd always ask us if we wanted to go to his church.
9. Are you still in that religion?
No.
10. What rules did your parents have that you hated?
I don't remember any rules. Except I hated doing homework - especially math homework. I would cry with frustration. We also had to always practice the piano - which we all procrastinated about doing - even though I liked it.
11. What's the first song you made out to?
There was no music.
12. Who was your first kiss?
Not telling. But I was 18 years old.
13. How many schools did you go to as a kid?
4 - one elementary school, one middle school, 2 highschools
14. Which place(s) did you live growing up?
North Saint Paul, Minnesota
15. What color(s) was/were your room growing up?
White stucco, with dark wood trim in weird V shapes. My dad said he wanted it to look like a tudor-style house (on the inside of my room). Until I was in highschool, it also had blue persian-esque tiles on the floor, which were cool - but it made the floor hard and cold. It was a weird room. No wonder I chose to sleep in my brother's room until I was 7. (It was also because I was afraid of all the dolls in my room. I thought they were staring at me at night, in the dark, as I tried to sleep. Gave me chills.)
16. What was your favorite book in the 70's/80's/90's?
From the start, I loved to read and be read to. Books were my entire world. As a young kid, among all the picture books, the famous kid authors, I loved all the 1950s Little Lulu comics that my dad read to us from his collection.
As I grew, I loved all the Oz books & Alice in Wonderland (my favorites), Dr. Seuss, all old fairytales, everything by Zilpha Keatley Snyder, Anne of Green Gables books, Madeleine L'Engle, Cynthia Voight books, Chronicles of Narnia...............
17. What was your favorite movie(s) in the 70's/80's/90's?
I love movies and always have. If I had to pick one though that stands out most from childhood, I'd say Labyrinth.
18. Who was your first "best friend"?
Kristen, next-door.
19. Do you still know him/her?
Yes! Although she moved away, we re-discovered each other later in life. :)
20. What was the farthest you rode a bike as a child?
I think to the 7/11. It was "up the hill," which I thought was a marvelous, long journey. Now, I know - t's not. LOL
21. Were your parents strict?
Not by a long shot.
22. When were you allowed to date?
Never was an issue because I was extremely shy. It never came up.
23. What pet(s) did you have before you were 18?
Poppy & Moose - 2 cocker spaniels
Goldie & Blackie - goldfish
Tosca - cat
Hamsters (my sister's - yech)
Nibbles - guinea pig (my sister's - again, yech)
Zip & Cupid - cockatiels
BearPaw - mutt dog
Zeke, Cecily, Zolly - 3 lovey cats
24. Did you get good grades in school?
Yes
25. What hobbies did you have as a child?
I loved to read and write....I also played the piano, tennis, and skiing. And until I was about 9 or 10, I loved dolls and always played with dolls.
26. Did you play sports?
ONLY tennis & skiing. Outside of school. They were the only things I liked, and I was terrible at everything else. I HATED school-related sports/gym class. Such pressure! Such tension!
27. What was your favorite food as a child?
Rice. When I was 10 and my parents asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I only half-jokingly asked for "a barrel of rice."
Also, artichokes and brussels sprouts. I loved eating steamed artichokes as a family, because it took a long time to make them and eat them, one leaf at a time, dipped in mayonnaise (yum!). This delectable vegetable was particularly conducive to having quality family time - eating, talking.
28. What food did you hate as a child?
I never liked meat very much. And until I was a bit older and grew to LOVE spaghetti, when I was very young, it was scary to eat because I continually choked as I was eating it.
29. Are your parents still married? If so, how long?
34 years this fall, inshaAllah, mashaAllah.
30. Who was your favorite teacher in K-8?
Definitely Mr. Fredlund, my 5th grade teacher. He was my beloved, staunch supporter. Believed in me, loved me in a grandfatherly way. Now that my mom's a schoolboard person and always involved in education and the community, she sees him from time to time at different functions. He always asks about me. :)
21. Who was your favorite teacher in High School?
I loved Mrs. Lamb, my 7th grade English teacher, and Mr. Brick, my 11th and 12th grade English teacher, even though EVERYONE I knew made fun of him - he was quite odd. I liked him very much - he was a huge fan of Asian poetry, and I will never forget his moving, inspiring lectures about Lao Tsu and Li Po, which revved up quite a bit of enthusiasm for these writers on my own part. I will never forget how, through these and other writers, he taught me the word "reticence," and the whole concept behind it in Asian poetry. It followed me for the rest of my days, trying to capture that essence and practice. Mr. Brick was so supportive of me. He was so respectful and 1000% encouraging of me and my writing. It was exactly what I needed - saturated praise - in order to draw me out, to blossom and be brave and expressive in my writing.
It's funny, but I remember little else from my scholastic highschool days, but these afternoons of reading poetry and world literature stayed with me. Just the other morning - a cold, bright winter morning, I read a beautiful article in National Geographic about the 17th century Japanese poet, Basho. It took me back inside a reverie.
22. Did you ever steal anything as a kid?
We had these neighbors that we (my parents, and therefore, us kids) hated, until they moved away when I entered middle school, or maybe a little earlier. They were dumb as rocks, and loud, and mean. They used to have this plastic crate of rocks - just rocks - sitting next to their garage.
I don't know why, but I feverishly decided I just HAD to take one of those rocks. Maybe it was vengeance for their son being mean to me? My heart was pounding, pounding, as I cased the situation, crept up, and snatched a big rock from the crate. Just as I did so, they drove up in their van, onto their driveway. I ran, and hid in the bushes. Someone jumped out of the van and chased after me - was it their daughter? - and caught me in the bushes, and started screaming in my face, "WHAT WERE YOU DOING?! WHAT WERE YOU DOING?!!" I couldn't answer, couldn't speak, could only shake in my cold sweat.
I still had the rock when she walked away. I remember laying in bed that night, unable to sleep, my stomach in a twist, nauseous, paralyzed with fear, begging - someone, something, instinctually? - for forgiveness. Vowing never to do that again. The next day, I crept back, and put the rock back in the crate, praying they would never notice.
23. Did you ever cheat on a test?
No
24. Where would we find you on your elementary school playground?
Hoping recess would end as quickly as possible (I didn't like any forced socialization), or, on a more peaceful Spring day, playing 4-square, if there were any taking it up.
25. Did you have a job before you were 18?
At 15, I worked at Dege Garden Center. I was a cashier, but also did other odd jobs. It was the weirdest place to work - the employees were bizarre, are-you-a-convict? types - but they were very funny, and I enjoyed working there. I thought they were SO OLD, so haggard, so experienced - but looking back, they were about 25-30 yrs. old. We would take turns taking naps in the back, on top of bags of fertilizer. We'd jump up and start sweeping if the owner, George, came in the store. I loved watering the flowers with the spray hose in the hot, misty greenhouse.
I also worked at Bruegger's Bagels, which I didn't like much - but I stuck to it.
26. Excluding family, who have you known the longest that you still have contact with now?
Kristen, from next-door
27. Did you go to any concerts when you were a child? If yes, which ones?
Classical ones.
28. What fad(s) did you just have to have?
Friendship bracelets, Cabbage Patch dolls, moccasins, hairsprayed bangs, jelly shoes, tight-ankled jeans held together with safety pins
29. What fad(s) did you hate?
Hairsprayed bangs and tight-ankled jeans held together with safety pins
30. It's Friday night in high school: Where are you?
Sometimes home, watching a movie, sometimes out with friends - movie, restaurant, coffee shop or their house.
31. Did you ever copy a celebrity for your hair style?
Wanted to, but don't think I did or was able to.
32. What song was played at your high school graduation?
I can't remember.
33. What was the dumbest thing you did as a child?
Perhaps when I tried, in secret, to copy my dad by putting M & Ms in my nose. I was in the bathroom, sitting on the counter, looking in the mirror, to see how it looked to have orange and green nostrils, like him. The trouble came when the M & Ms wouldn't come out again. They were stuck. I panicked. They melted. I started blowing my nose, blowing my nose, for what I've always remembered was "half an hour," blowing chocolate out - and then blood. Decided never to do that again, either.
My friend Kristen answered these questions too, and for this one, I just have to post her answer as well, since it is about her and me:
"One would have to be when my best friend and I made wishes, blowing on dandelions, that we would become centaurs. And we were absolutely, whole-heartedly convinced that our wish had come true, and oh, were we delighted. ("I can see the outline of my back legs!" "I can jump higher than I could before! Look!") Until, classically, the doubts started to creep in: what had we done? How would we live our lives this way? How would we ever return to normal?? I went inside to my mother, in tears, wailing about dandelions and wishes and back legs and despair. My mother's response:
'Why don't you just wish on another dandelion?' "
34. How late were you allowed to stay out?
I didn't really have a curfew
35. What was your first car?
The red Ford Taurus station wagon was passed on to me. I thought it was a huge embarrassment, but my friends in highschool liked it, which made me happy. It always smelled like grass, from having huge black lawn bags filled with freshly mown grass in the summer that my mother then drove to "the dump." The smell remained.
36. Is your life what you thought it would be?
I hadn't known what to expect, but I certainly hadn't seen this coming.
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